


A Relationship Most Peculiar

by ravelqueen



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Dysfunctional Relationships, Dysfunctional Young Adults, Explicit Language, Fluff, Future Fic, Gen, Haru: sort of starting to become a real boy, M/M, Minor Nanase Haruka/Everyone, POV Multiple, Sousuke: poor 45 year old divorcee in the body of a 20 year old, Tags to be added, and now it's that, but also a lot of FRIENDSHIP, nagisa is just amused by everything that's happening, oh god this was supposed to be about everyone reacting to SouHaru, smut in later chapters (prob), with a smush of unrequited harurin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 10:04:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2424656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravelqueen/pseuds/ravelqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>So what did you do this weekend?“ Makoto asks. He's still getting used to actually having to ask and it's exhilarating and strange in equal measures. He takes a sip from his milkshake, expecting the usual nothing much or swimming or the recent thrilling addition: studying.</i>
</p><p> <i>“I slept with Yamazaki.” Makoto spits his drink out over a pigeon.</i></p><p>(Or the one where everyone reacts to the baffling fact that sex seems to be happening between Sousuke and Haru. In three acts and six scenes)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hold me close and let me go

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is basically my part in getting this wonderful SouHaru pairing more love. 
> 
> This was _supposed_ to be funny and just about how everyone would be just honestly confused about SouHaru happening at all. Now it's about this, but also a huge part about friendship. And now also about why these two are a dysfunctional match made in heaven.
> 
> First chapter will be Makoto+Rin's POV, second one Nagisa+Gou and the last one you'll finally get Sousuke+Haru

**Makoto**

 

„So what did you do this weekend?“ Makoto asks. He's still getting used to actually _having_ to ask and it's exhilarating and strange in equal measures. He takes a sip from his milkshake, expecting the usual _nothing much_ or _swimming_ or the recent thrilling addition: _studying_.

“I slept with Yamazaki.” Makoto spits his drink out over a pigeon.

“You did _what_?!” Makoto screeches, hoping that he misheard.

“I slept with Yamazaki.” Haru repeats with an annoyed look.

“As in..?” he trails off, because there really aren't that many ways to interpret it, but he can't help himself, groping frantically for any other explanation.

“Did the horizontal tango with. Copulated. Had sex with Screwed. Fucke- ” Makoto slaps a hand over Haru's smirking mouth. Mothers have started to throw them scandalized looks and Makoto can actually feel the way his blush is heating his face.

“Ok.” Makoto says, trying to calm down. He can deal with this. He knew it would happen, now that Haru is in college and actually _interacting_  with people. And he's happy for him, just. “With Yamazaki-kun?” he can't help asking. “I didn't even know you two were still in contact.” Which is a tactful way of saying that he didn't know those two could stand to be in a room with each other.

Haru shrugs. “We weren't. But we ran into each other at one of the centers I train at.” Which still doesn't explain how they went from that to having sex.

The confusion must have shown on his face, because Haru throws him an amused glance. “If you are interested in the details, ask Nagisa.” he says.

“ _Nagisa_ knows?” And ok, now Makoto is a bit hurt. He'd thought if Haru would talk to anyone about momentous things happening to him, it would be Makoto.

Haru throws him an indulgent look. “We needed to know which brand of condom to buy. Nagisa seemed the best person to ask.”

Which he probably was. Makoto tries to think about how he would have reacted, if Haru had called him with that question. Probably with a lot less laughter but also without any helpful advice.

Haru has gone back to feeding the pigeons pieces of his melon bread. Makoto now has to come to terms with the fact that his best friend just lost his virginity over the weekend in what was apparently a spontaneous one-night stand with _Yamazaki-kun_.

He's trying to think of a question or if he should maybe not pry, change the topic _,_ when Haru asks quietly, “Are you mad?” He's avoiding Makoto's eyes now.

“No, Haru-chan, of course not!” Makoto tries to put as much earnestness in his voice as possible.

Haru doesn't even object to the nickname, instead losing some of the tension Makoto hadn't even noticed. He forgets sometimes that's it's not only him who ties himself into knots when it comes to preserving their friendship. And now that he's paying attention, Makoto had been putting some physical distance between them.

He rectifies this immediately, by scooting close to Haru on the bench they are sitting on, putting an arm around him. After a few seconds, Haru rests his head on Makoto's shoulder, the rest of the tension bleeding out of him at the contact.

“I'm not mad, I'm just-” he stops for a minute, trying to figure out where that antsy feelings comes from, “concerned. I want only the best for you. I want you to be happy, Haru.”

He can see a small smile forming on Haru's lips, even with the way his mouth is barely visible from Makoto's vantage point. “I know.”

“And I'm just not sure that sleeping with Yamazaki-kun of all people is good for you?” He makes it a question, because he _doesn't_ know. He was always sure that Haru is the last person who'd let himself be exploited by people he doesn't love, so Makoto didn't even know to be afraid of that.

Haru makes a questioning noise. “What's wrong with Yamazaki?”

“Nothing!” he waves his hand around, but subsides at the displeased sound Haru lets out at being nearly displaced from his comfortable resting space. “There is nothing wrong with Yamazaki-kun, but I...I just didn't know you liked each other that way?” _Or at all?_ He adds in his head.

“We don't.” Haru says, sounding unconcerned.

Makoto is now _extremely_ worried. He dislodges Haru from his shoulder, grabs his hands and uses that hold to turn him, so that they face each other. He's trying to decide how to say 'please don't tell me you are having a crisis of confidence and are letting someone use your body to get over it' without sounding confrontational or condescending, when Haru lets out a snort.

“It's fine, Makoto, really.” Haru smiles a bit, “I'm not doing anything I don't want, I just- “ he shrugs, “wanted something uncomplicated.”

And Makoto gets it a bit. Haru doesn't care that much about Sousuke, but he doesn't hate him and most importantly Sousuke doesn't care as much about Haru as Makoto or the others do. He doesn't have to be as careful as he tries to be now, with them, with their feelings. No matter how often Makoto tells him that it's alright, that he understands that Haru was going through a tough time, Haru clearly still feels guilty.

So he's been trying, with all of them. Talking to Rin, making sure to ask Makoto how his studies are going and actually listening to the answers. Calling Nagisa and Rei in Iwatobi to check up on them.

And it's been wonderful, finally getting to see so much of _Haru_ , after he's locked himself away from them in one way or the other. But it must also be exhausting for Haru, to try so hard after not trying at all for the longest time.

So maybe this _is_ what he needs. To just let go, have fun with someone he doesn't have to be afraid of hurting with a careless word.

“You can come to me about everything, you know that right?” Makoto says, trying to imprint the words into Haru's brain, because he _can_. Makoto loves him, he'll be there for Haru whenever he needs him.

“I know.” Haru says in a small voice, but maybe, just maybe the meaning of those words is starting to penetrate a bit.

“So if he's treating you wrong, or he does something you don't like-”

“Makoto, oh god, you aren't my mother.” Haru says and he's clearly teasing, but Makoto barely restrains the 'well your mother certainly isn't going to tell you this' that wants to come out.

He gentles his voice instead, teasing back, “Well, I'm your best friend, so I have the same privileges really.”

He means it, though. Haru seems to be fine with whatever Yamazaki-kun and he are doing, so Makoto wont object, and it's good, that Haru takes what he wants again. But he'll definitely monitor the situation, just to be sure.

“Are you checking me for _bruises_?” Haru asks incredulously. “Right, enough about me, now tell me about that girl in your Introduction to Primary School Education you have a crush on.”

“I don't – what - “ he splutters.

“You've been sighing when you've been speaking about her.” Haru says, raising an eyebrow.

“I don't have a crush on Makiko! She's just been helping me, and has been so nice about me asking her all these questions about campus! And she's from a small city, too, but she's been here for a year already, so we just have a lot to talk about.” Makoto says. Oh god, he's rambling. Haru looks supremely unconvinced

“Right. If you do happen to ask her out though,” he says, “I know where to buy the extra-large condoms now.”

 

* * *

 

**Rin**

“What the fuck, Haru?!” Rin says when Haru finally picks up.

“...Hello to you too, Rin.” Rin grips the receiver tighter at the dry tone, because fuck that.

“No, seriously, what the fuck, Haru, you are sleeping with Sousuke now?!” he's trying to keep it down, but he can't help the way his voice rises with each word. Thank god his room mate is at a meet right now and he can pace the small corridor between their beds without disturbing anyone.

“I guess you got my text.” Haru answers, still so calm.

“Yes, thanks for the very elaborate _"Fucking Yamazaki now, thought you should know - Haru"_.” Rin grits his teeth. “What the fuck Haru, you don't even call him by his first name, but you'll let him stick his cock up your ass?”

“Huh, that's a lot of conjecture.” Haru answers, amusement shining through his voice.

“Cut the _crap_ , Haru, don't talk to me like I'm a _stranger_.” He can't help the way his voice cracks at the end. He rubs his eyes furiously. “Don't be a _dick_ , fuck.”

There is silence at the other end of the line, until there is a sigh “I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be.” Haru says quietly. “Yes, I slept with Yamazaki.”

“Are you going to do it again?” Rin asks.

“I haven't decided,” Rin can nearly hear the shrug in his voice, “Possibly.”

“ _How?_ ” Because he just doesn't get it. The last time Rin saw both of them, they could barely be civil long enough to say goodbye to Rin and now this?

“He asked.” Haru says calmly. “I said yes.”

“That's it?” Rin says incredulously.

“Whatever made you think I wasn't easy?” Haru says mischievously. Under normal circumstances Rin would laugh, maybe tell him how proud he is that Haru is finally becoming a real boy. Maybe he'd earnestly tell him that all that social contact he's been having with his classmates, with his team has been good for him.

Clearly that is what Haru is waiting for, that's why he made a joke like that, but Rin _can't_. He's stuck, can't seem to form words right now.

“Rin?” Haru asks and all traces of amusement have left his voice.

“All you have to do is ask?” Rin finally gets out. By the intake of breath on the other side, he's heard the _I_  in that question.

“Possibly.” Haru says after a quiet moment, sounding careful now. And oh god, Haru never sounds careful, Rin _hates_ it when Haru feels that he has to. “Depends on what you want.”

Rin breathes very carefully and decides to be brave. “What could I ask for?”

There is a long silence again. Rin hates silences, has hated them since he was little. But he knows Haru needs them sometimes, that this moment needs them, so he breathes through it, distracts himself with trying to figure out the pattern on the throw over his room mates bed.

“Something casual. No strings attached.” Haru finally says, adding with a regretful tone. “Something uncomplicated.” Rin can nearly taste the sorry in the air between them. Because he knows what this means. Nothing between them has ever been uncomplicated. Nothing ever will.

He breathes out and in slowly, tasting the salt from the tears he hasn't even noticed. For months he hadn't even really thought about the _potential_ between them. That extra catch of breath, that spark that never really went away.

He'd thought he'd laid it to rest, made his peace with this thing between them staying unfulfilled. But just the impersonal little text and it had come rushing back. He'd felt as if someone had slapped him in the face.

“Rin, are you-” Haru sounds strained and at any other point in time Rin would high-five himself at finally winning at a waiting game against Haru, but he can't even think of that when Haru sounds so unsure, so _scared_.

“Haru, fuck, don't be scared please.” he gets out, and he's surprised how normal he still sounds.

“Are you asking?” Haru says and it's a perfect moment of opportunity and for a second Rin thinks about saying _yes,_ about what he would get.

“No.” and it hurts, but at the same time he feels he can finally breathe again. “You know me, always wanting everything at once.”

Haru laughs shakingly and says, “Yes.” and then “I'm sorry.”

“No, fuck don't be, I'm- “ he can't say fine, not when he can still feel his legs shaking - “ going to be fine. This isn't, this isn't new.” And he's accepted it months ago, known that he'd choose their friendship, Haru looking at him over a start-block, all hard smiles and competitive glint over _potential_ any time.

He's been  _over him_ for a while now, has eaten all the requisite ice cream and cried on Makoto's shoulder, but for some reason hearing Haru speak about something he'd wanted for years so _casually_ had brought all those feelings roaring back.

“Are _we_ going to be ok?” Haru asks finally and the fear is back in his voice and Rin's heart breaks a bit, because he forgets sometimes, how fragile Haru can be.

“Yes, fuck, Haru of course we are. This” he makes a motion in the air with one of his hands, “is just me being stupid.”

“It's not, though.” Haru answers quietly. Rin curses under his breath. Right, another thing he easily forgets: how perceptive Haru can be when he tries.

“Maybe not, but it's not your fault, and I've dealt with it a while ago. I just had a bit of a relapse there.” Haru makes a little noise on the other side, contemplative.

“I could-” he starts, but Rin interrupts him.

“No, Haru, you have to do what is right for you. Don't - “ he takes a deep breath. “Thank you for being honest. You told me what you can give right now. It's not your fault if that's not enough for me, ok?”

“I just - “ Haru stops, takes a deep breath, “You are very important to me.” It sounds a bit like he's reading from a script, like he means the words, but hasn't really learned to say them in Japanese. It makes Rin chuckle.

“I know.” Rin says. “Not important enough to let me win our last race though.” he adds. It has the desired effect of Haru letting out a snort.

“As if you'd let me.” he says, sounding more normal by the second.

“True.” Rin says, sinking down on the bed, finally losing the tension in his body. “What do they put in the water in Tokyo though, you've gotten faster _again._ ”

“If you come visit me in my new flat like you told us you would” Makoto's intonation now and it makes Rin smile, makes him suddenly miss home like a limb “you'd know.”

“Oh stop nagging I will.” Rin says easily, already making plans in his head.

Haru makes an indulgent noise in the back of his throat. It makes Rin's smile grow and yes, he actually _is_ ok. Maybe he needed this, needed this conversation. He's breathing a lot easier now.

And now that he can actually really think about it, he realises that _this_ is a opportunity for teasing Haru the likes of which he's never even contemplated before.

“Soooo,” he says and by Haru's quiet groan he can hear the leer in his voice, “I've seen Sousuke naked, how long till you could sit down right?”

 


	2. Uncomplicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *looks at posting date* Um, so surprisingly I'm really _really_ bad at WIP's? I'm basically out of the active Free! fandom, but I still love this story , so here you go! Chapter 2! And because it took about 18 months it's three times as long! And Sousuke actually is finally in it! Enjoy this blatant manifesto of my favourite ship and my favourite friendships tbh.

**Nagisa**

 

Nagisa is vibrating. For a second he thinks it's just because this all is so very exciting. Being in Tokyo is bound up in his head with swim-tournaments, with drama, but also with his Haru-chan laughing, thanking him for always being there.

It's also so new every time and being here for the first time just for _fun_ , without any big life changing events on the horizon, he can finally take in how _amazing_ it is. Already he's seen four different people with tights he really, really wants and the bustle is so different from Iwatobi, he kind of wants to bask in it for a bit.

The vibrating continues and it _actually_ is his phone.

„Hey, Haru-chan!“ he says, picking it up. It's still so very exciting that Haru calls people now, Nagisa is just giddy with it all.

“...Are you at the police-box already?“ Haru asks. He sounds slightly breathless and this is another new thrilling aspect of Haru-in-Tokyo that Mako-chan has told him about, that he's starting to care about things like being on time now. Nagisa is extremely excited to see this new Haru-chan, but also slightly scared that he's too different, too removed from what Nagisa knows.

“I just arrived, do you want me to go somewhere else?” Nagisa says.

“...No, I'll be there.” and then he hangs up. Instead of being irritated, Nagisa smiles even wider, swaying back and forth on his feet now, trying to take everything in. Haru-chan will stay his Haru-chan after all and maybe it's not that he's changing, but that he's _trying_ now. For _them._ He knows his face has stretched into the smile Rei-chan has told him frightens small children, but he's really too happy to care.

Just as he's trying to decide if he should take the chance to try and talk with the girl standing on the other side of the fence and ask her where she got that frankly adorable bag, he sees Haru jogging up to him.

“Haru-chan” he trills, throwing himself at him, and the slight hug back, that's new, as well as the quiet “It's good to see you.” It makes Nagisa clutch Haru even tighter, because he always _knew_ that they were all important to him, but it's different hearing it, better in a lot of ways, even though it's _strange._

He pulls back, grinning from ear to ear. “Sooo, Haru-chan where do you want to go, since you have _so much_ to tell me.” He waggles both eyebrows, because even though he's interested in how Haru is doing at university, he's heard a lot through Makoto and some of the Skype calls he's managed to cajole Haru into.

Today he's here for something much more interesting than training regimes He was promised details and he's going to get them.

Haru answers with a tiny eye-roll and leads the way down into a little tea shop in Kabuki-cho. Nagisa chatters at him on the way there, little bits of information about Iwatobi, about the cat that comes to school now and then, about all the frankly amazing fashion choices he's seen on the way to Shinjuku.

He knows Haru isn't _really_ listening, but he's also not _not-_ listening and it's comfortable this relationship they have, where Nagisa can just let go and while Haru isn't the most responsive audience (that honour goes to Rei-chan) he also never makes Nagisa feel as if he needs to stop talking.

They find a little secluded back table and Nagisa leans forward. “Now, enough stalling. Give.”

Haru snorts. “Why are you so sure your advice deserves a reward.” He's not even pretending he doesn't know what Nagisa is talking about, leaning back in his chair and idly throwing out: “Maybe the condoms you recommended were shit.”

“Please,” Nagisa says, grinning now, because Haru being playful might be his favourite thing in the world, “First of all, my research skills are perfect, and second, if they _had_ been shit, you'd have called immediately to complain about it.” He pretends to think about it. “Or complained about it to Mako-chan.”

He detects Haru's tiny smirk at that thought. “And, to be fair, his face would have also been a really close second when it comes to payments.”

“...I did tell him, you know.” Haru says and it probably sounds deadpan to everyone else, but Nagisa knows his sense of humour. Mainly that it tends to run towards the evil, laughing-at-others-pain. And people wonder why Nagisa likes his Haru-chan.

“Ahh,” he pouts, “And you didn't take a picture?! Cruel, Haru-chan.”

Haru shrugs: “You know he would have made me delete it.”

“You need to learn how to resist the Eyes, Haru-chan, or you'll _never_ get to do anything fun.” Nagisa says, trying for a serious tone.

“...Yamazaki was pretty fun.” he answers and Nagisa can't help the laugh bursting from him. He's _missed_ Haru. Rei-chan is much more interesting to tease, but he's terrible at innuendo.

“Speaking of which...” Nagisa says, waggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly just so he can see the way Haru ducks his head to hide his amused smile.

“What do you want to know?” Haru says stirring his coffee. Nagisa is stumped for a moment, because, yes, when Haru had called him out of the blue to ask what condoms to buy if he needed them large and _sturdy,_ he had extracted a promise of details, but he hadn't expected to get a _carte blanche._

“Did you use the large or the extra-large in the end?” Nagisa asks on autopilot. He curses himself a bit, because that's not even the most important part, he can just go to an _onsen_ with Sousuke and check, what a waste of a question.

“Extra-large.” Haru replies without missing a beat, his smirk now on full display, clearly having noticed that he'd thrown Nagisa. He raises his eyebrow a bit and oh. _Oh_. Haru promised details and details is what Nagisa is going to get until Haru is out of his sharing mood.

Nagisa smiles wide, he doesn't even care that it probably looks slightly manic. Because for a second he'd forgotten what he's like. Hanging around with only Rei-chan now, talking with Haru only through phone and internet, often together with Makoto, where it's about school, or the swim club or _feelings._ He forgot that one of the best things about his Haru-chan is that he's absolutely _shameles_ s.

He leans eagerly forward “Show of hands.” He whistles when Haru does, because that is an impressive size.

“Do you think he's bigger than Mako-chan?” he muses and adds an “You are not allowed to ask him if I'm not there, Haru-chan you can't deprive me of a reaction like that _twice_.” as Haru's gives a contemplative shrug.

“Any good?” he continues eagerly.

“Good enough.”

“Noisy or quiet?”

“He's noisy when you bite.”

“Strong points.”

“Strength, stamina and hands.”

“Weak points?” Nagisa says, anticipating Haru's smirk at that.

“Dirty talk,” he settles on after a bit of thought, adding “and personality.” under his breath.

Nagisa can barely control his snickers, but presses on “Gentle or rough?”

Haru snorts, “What do you think?”

“Point,” Nagisa smirks, “What did you look like after?

“...Colourful.” he says delicately.

“Oh my god, you went to training the next day, didn't you.” Nagisa states full of wonder. “What did your team mates _say_?”

“Coach screamed at them for being 'distracted'” he says casually, but Nagisa knows that glint in Haru's eyes. The glint that tells Nagisa that not only did he manage to quiet those who'd been loudly theorizing that Haru is frigid – HA – just because he wasn't fucking around with _those_ douche-bags – he'd also managed to make quite a few of them question their sexuality.

“You are everything I aspire to be, Haru-chan.” Nagisa says earnestly. “Top or Bottom?”

“Both.” Haru says with a certain amount of smugness.

“How many orgasms?” Because if they went both ways, it must have been a long night.

“Which time?” Haru throws back, which brings Nagisa's gleeful questioning to a screeching halt.

“ _What -_ ” he asks. Haru is still relaxed as if he hadn't just thrown out a game changer, as if this one little detail hadn't just transformed this whole conversation. “do you _mean_ which time?”

His voice comes out a bit shrill, startling Haru into wariness, clearly unsure where he's misstepped, but sure somehow that he _has_.

“....we don't have a quota?” he says, clearly trying to be joking, but his tone is a mile off.

“Are you telling me there's been _more_ than one time?” Nagisa asks, just to be clear.

“Yes?” Haru says uncertainly and jumps back at the unidentifiable sound coming out of Nagisa's mouth at that.

“What? _How_ often?” Nagisa asks, aghast.

“...I'm not counting.” Haru says quietly, adding “It's been four months!” at Nagisa's incredulous look.

“When? Why didn't you _tell_ me? This changes _everything.”_ He sits back in his chair and waves over a waiter. He suddenly needs _way_ more cake for this conversation.

“No, it doesn't.” Haru mumbles and Nagisa sends him an reproachful look.

“Of course it does, Haru-chan. I can't believe you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend.” Nagisa says, just about restraining himself from wagging a finger into Haru's face, who suddenly looks as if he's bitten into a lemon. He's honestly a bit hurt, because how could Haru just _omit_ that pertinent detail?

“Yamazaki is _not_ my _boyfriend_.” he says and then shudders a bit as if even saying it left a bad taste in his mouth.

“But you _said_ -”

“I said we are _fucking_ , not that he's my bo-.” he breaks off as if he actually can't even make himself say it twice.

“But -” Nagisa says mulish, because something just doesn't sit right with him with that. Because it's _Sousuke._ The last time he saw them together was entertaining, sure, but more in a I-wonder-if-people-would-buy-tickets-to-this-fight way. And it makes sense if it was a one-time thing, but both of them spending _more_ time together?

Haru raises an eyebrow, looking stubborn and confrontational and damnit, Nagisa didn't want anything like this to happen, he doesn't want Haru to feel like he needs to defend himself, but this is _weird_ and he needs to _know_.

“So you are saying it's just a, a sex thing?” Nagisa asks, trying to figure it out. “And it has nothing to do with you liking Sou-chan?” Haru nods tightly.

“And that's what you want?” he goes on and can't quite get the incredulous note out of his voice. It's not that Nagisa is prudish. Sex is great! He's had quite a bit of practice with himself and he _reads,_ and his Haru-chan is beautiful and amazing and single and why shouldn't he go out and have a lot of sex?

But why would he sleep with _Yamazaki Sousuke_ more than once, if it's just about sex? Nagisa can remember quite a few entertaining evenings in which Haru had complained at length over Skype about how annoying and _meddling_ he is...

In retrospect this really should have tipped Nagisa off that there was something _more_ going on here.

Haru just gives him another tight nod, looking away and says quietly under his breath “There's nothing _wrong_ with wanting something uncomplicated.”

Nagisa notices suddenly how tight Haru-chan is holding himself, how he hasn't touched his tea in minutes, how he's sort of curled into himself. _Fuck_

“Of course there's nothing wrong with that!” Nagisa says and Haru relaxes a bit, but not enough, so Nagisa flings himself to sit next to him on the bench, dragging him into a sideways hug, ignoring the grumbling and breathes “there _nothing_ wrong with _you,_ Haru-chan.” and smiles when the tension finally leaves him.

Once again Nagisa is just so thankful that Haru has no shame, so he can move even closer, getting his arms fully around him and burrowing his face in the junction of his neck.

“Sleeping together doesn't have to mean anything. _You'd_ have sex with me in a heartbeat.” Haru points out.

“Well, of course,” Nagisa says, because duh, “but that's because I love Haru-chan!”

Haru looks startled at that and then pleased right down to his bones and this, _this_ is what has been nagging Nagisa about this whole situation, why he couldn't just be thrilled that his friend was getting laid.

“I just want you to be happy, Haru-chan.” he says carding through his hair. “And I don't like to think that someone is touching you, just because you are beautiful and not because you are _wonderful_.”

He bites his lips, because he needs to word this right, this unease in him. “And I like Sou-chan and I'm sure he's good in bed and all, but is he good to _you_?” he finally settles on, only getting a shrug in response.

It's not like he thinks Sousuke is a bad person. He doesn't think that he'd intentionally hurt Haru at all, because for all his growling he's clearly a huge softie.

But Haru is so fragile sometimes in such unexpected ways. He's strong and confident, but never quite certain that he's wanted for _himself_ and not only for what he has to offer– be it his talent or his beauty.

And Sousuke isn't careful, he doesn't know Haru like they do, doesn't _care_ like they do and it makes Nagisa clutch him a bit tighter. Sousuke could _break_ Haru, exactly because he's not that invested into him, and Nagisa _does_ understand why Haru would want that after the last few years, but _still._ He _worries._

“Haru-chan, please?” he tries again, because while that was all he could expect from Haru once upon a time, he's a bit _different_ now and maybe -

Haru looks uncomfortable, takes a breath, holds it “He's fine, he's - “ he trails off clearly looking for the right word before he settles again on “ - uncomplicated.”

And someone else might have missed the palatable _yearning_ in that one word. But Nagisa has known his Haru-chan for _years,_ years of few words and long silences being the only thing communicating the wealth of emotion Haru tries to hide under his indifference.

But Nagisa learned to _listen_ because he loves Haru, so he hears the depth of _want_ Haru put into that one word and it closes up his throat a bit, but he can still squeeze out an “Ok, then, Haru-chan.”

“...you are squishing me.” Haru says finally. He's trying to sound annoyed but Nagisa knows what Haru actually is like when he's annoyed so he ignores it, though he does loosen his hold a bit, enough so that Haru can get his phone out when it buzzes.

 _Nanase. Dinner is at 7. Don't fucking forget to buy milk,_ you _drank the last of mine_.

He's still holding on to Haru, which is extremely fortunate, because that way he can prevent him from running away.

“Just a sex thing, is it, Haru-chan~~” he trills, snickering at the panicked look on Haru's face. Which he deserved for making Nagisa worry, when it turns out, nobody was using Haru at all, he's just being _dumb_.

“Yes, it is.” Haru says tersely, throwing his phone into the bag he put under the table, clearly trying to do damage control by not letting Nagisa see any of the _possible other sappy messages,_ Nagisa has hit a _goldmine._

“Haru-chan, you still owe me details,” he says with a shit eating grin, which gets wider at the way Haru squirms next to him, “and I think what I want to know about most, are those little dinner dates with your not-boyfriend."

 

* * *

 

**Gou**

 

“So I hear you have a boyfriend now.” Gou says, moving out of the way of the expected sputtering. It may have been slightly mean to make that comment when Sousuke had taken the first sip of his tea, but she's just feeling slightly vindictive.

“Where did you hear that?” Sousuke asks between coughs.

“So you aren't denying it, then?” She's a bit surprised by that. She'd have expected to have to wade through the denial first.

“Of course I am – “ and there it was, “I just need to know who's spreading lies.”

“Why, so you can, what send them a sternly worded E-mail all the way from Tokyo?” Sousuke opens his mouth, but Gou really doesn't have time to go through his excuses and since she's expected the denial she's prepared, “Anyway, it's not a lie, I've seen pictures.”

Sousuke visible starts at that, looking slightly haunted. _Good._

“...Pictures?”

“I really didn't know you and Haruka-senpai got on that well.” she continues.

Sousuke snorts “We really don't.” And oh, that's _it._

“I didn't even know that you still talked. Or interacted. Or had anything to do with each other, ever. And now you are _boyfriends._ ” She can't stop her voice rising at the end of that, can't help the way, her voice goes high and cracks slightly. Damn it, she wanted to be mocking, not _this._

Because Sousuke really isn't as oblivious as he tries to make her brother believe, she can see him reigning in his frankly predictable disgust at her phrasing and notice the way her hands are clenched and trembling slightly.

“...are you angry?” he finally asks, face changing from bored and outraged to concerned and uncomfortable, which is just _so him_ that Gou relaxes slightly and let's out a deep sigh.

“Damn right I'm angry, I had to hear this from _Nagisa_ , what the hell Sousuke, I thought-” she cuts herself off, because she can feel her eyes tearing up and she'd _promised_ herself she wouldn't do this. Clearly Sousuke didn't trust her anyway, no reason to _prove_ to him that she was just a little girl, if he was thinking it anyway.

“...thought what?” Sousuke asks quietly.

“I doesn't matter.” It doesn't come out as dismissively as she'd wanted, but at least she isn't close to tears anymore.

“It does.” That exasperating, stubborn -

“Fine, I thought we were friends, ok?” her voice is steady now, she'll count it as a victory. “I thought that I wasn't just Rin's little sister that you felt you had to check up on, I thought that we'd become _friends,_ that you could tell me things.”

“...we are friends.” he says, very soft now, looking very determinedly at the wall behind her.

“Doesn't feel that way.” Gou answers. Clearly she's pushed him a bit too far, because the contrition drops off his face.

“I'm here, aren't I?” he says angrily, “I'm here, every month at least, visiting you. I write you E-mails _all the time_ , I tell you things about my life I tell no one, just so -”

“Oh, I'm _sorry,_ it's been such a chore!” she snaps, “No-one is _forcing_ you to talk to me.” For a second she has the horrible thought that maybe her big brother _is_ forcing him out of some misguided protective instinct, but the way Sousuke's face falls at the accusation reassures her.

“That's not-” he breathes deeply, “that's not what I'm saying. At all. Just, “ he waves a hand, “I tell you everything important, why do I _also_ need to tell you who I'm fucking on the side?”

“But that's not all you are doing, are you?” she says, sure, because she _has_ seen the photos and even if Nagisa couldn't tell, was actually nearly accusing Sousuke of playing with Haruka-senpai, breaking his heart, she _knows_ Sousuke, she _does._ And if any heart is in danger of being broken, it really isn't Haruka-senpai's.

“Yes we are.” he says, but he's not looking at her again, and really, how anyone can think _Sousuke_ is mysterious is totally beyond her.

“Come on, it's _Haruka-senpai,”_ she says, smiling at his confused look, “since when have you been able to be casual about _him?_ ”

“What's that supposed to mean?!” Ah, the outrage is back, how nice.

“It _means_ that once I've heard everything I could really want to hear about this “Haru” from my brother, there you were, _also_ not shutting up about him.” She thinks back to those days, when she was just so happy to have her _big brother's friend_ talk to her. To Sousuke red-faced and disheveled, sitting in their living room, _snarling_ Haruka-senpai's name. “Though you were much less nice about him then.”

“I'm not nice about him _now_.” Sousuke snorts.

“But you admit that you _were_ always talking about him?” she asks with a small smile.

Sousuke throws her an annoyed look. “Wasn't your complaint about how I'm _not_ talking about him?”

“Mhm, you are right, “ she says but smiles sweetly at his triumphant look, “I really should have seen the warning signs, when you stopped complaining about Haruka-senpai every second.”

He throws up his hands, “I can't win, can I. I talk about him, I don't talk about him, either way you'll be convinced I have a – a – I don't even know.”

“A boyfriend.” she says and laughs at the way a tiny little blush that finally starts to coat Sousuke's cheeks.

“ _Shut up_ , god _,_ ” he says running a finger through his hair. He's clearly trying to aim for exasperation, but Gou can hear the desperation shining through, which...is not what she expected.

“Why don't you want me to call him your boyfriend?” she asks, serious now, because she was worried about Sousuke when Nagisa told her, but it's one thing to _worry_ and quite another to have the tangible proof before her that there _is_ a reason to worry.

“Because he's _not._ We _fuck_ and it's nothing more than that.” he snarls. “Sorry to destroy your _romantic notions_ , but it's not like we ever _talk_ or _make love_ or whatever you think we do.”

“So the fact that Nagisa _told me_ that you write him cute little texts about shopping and what-not, that's not talking?” Gou makes sure to raise her eyebrows and take her phone out. In case Sousuke makes her prove it. He's honestly stubborn enough to do it.

“That's just- “Sousuke finally gets agitated enough that he shoots off the bed he's sitting on, but then he's got nowhere to go, so he just stands in the middle of the room aimlessly. “Practicalities or whatever. He's not gonna be up for anything, if he passes out from not having eaten lunch _again._ And I'm not gonna let him get away with stealing my stuff.”

“Uh huh.” she says and makes sure her disbelief comes through loud and clear.

“I don't know what you want from me, do you want _details_ or what?! We meet, we have a hard fuck against the next available surface and then he walks out.” He's clearly shooting for a neutral tone, even angry, but to Gou's ears it sounds mostly _tired._

“And that's what you want?” she asks quietly.

“....That's what it is.”

“That doesn't answer my question.”

Finally he looks up at her. “No.” he says sardonically with a small pained smile. “No, I guess it doesn't.”

“What does Rin say about that?” It slips out before she has a second to think about it and it's _absolutely_ the wrong thing to say. She thought Sousuke was tightly wound before, but that's nothing against the way he tenses up at Rin's name.

“We don't talk about it.” he bites out.

“Don't tell me he doesn't _know_?!” She can't help the slightly accusatory tone, but god, if Rin _doesn't..._ Let's just say she doesn't want to be there for that fall out. Everything about Sousuke's body language practically _screams_ at her to leave it alone, but she _can't_.

“Please Sousuke,” she says making her voice as neutral as possible, “I need to know, or otherwise I'm going to slip up or -”

“Of course he knows.” Sousuke interrupts her harshly and abruptly all the tension goes out of him. “Of course he knows.” he repeats, sounding as dejected as he looks.

She digests that and then says, “Stop looming over me, come sit down. _Not_ all the way over there.” she snaps when he starts to move back to where he was before. He throws her an unsure look.

“Oh my god, I swear your virtue is safe, I just want to give my _friend_ a _hug,_ if that's ok?” She makes sure to put the right amount of annoyance in there and it works like a charm: Sousuke relaxes out of his stiff posture, huffing nearly inaudibly.

“Yes, your majesty.” he says with a tiny chuckle.

“And don't you forget it!” The fact that they played Queen and her loyal Knights so much as kids might be grounds for teasing a lot of the time, but it does come in handy when she needs Sousuke to let his guard down.

He sits down gently next to her, still with a foot of space between them, so that Gou has to _yank_ him to her. It does have the advantage of removing much of their height difference, so that she can clutch him tight, his chin in the juncture between her neck and shoulder.

She strokes his back for a bit and when he's still strung tight, she murmurs “Really no designs on your virtue.” he finally relaxes fully against her with another chuckle, putting his arms loosely around her.

“I'm sorry my brother blames you for stealing his man or whatever his problem is.” she finally says decisively.

He snorts, “I just said we aren't talking about it”, but the way he's tensing up again basically tells her all she needs to know.

“It's _Rin_. You might not be talking about it _now_ , but you can't tell me he left it uncommented when you _told_ him.” There is a suspicious silence.

“Wait, don't tell me -, _Haruka-senpai_  told him?!” She can feel Sousuke squirming in his arms, oh god, _really?_

“We thought it would go over better from him.” Sousuke mumbles.

“Meaning you flipped a coin.” There is a clear aura of guilt around Sousuke and she barely manages not to _shake_ him.

“Ok, so Haruka-senpai told him and you what, just called him as if nothing had happened?!” Somehow Gou can't quite believe that _her brother_ , drama-queen extraordinaire could pull that off.

She can feel him shrugging against her shoulder, “He didn't pick up his phone for a bit. Apparently wrote Nanase angry messages. When he finally answered my calls, he just went on as if nothing was going on. Laughed it off, when I tried to apologize or whatever.”

“And I'm sure you believed him.” Rin was many things, an actor was not any of them.

Sousuke shrugs again, “I'm not gonna force him to talk about it, if he doesn't want to.”

God, Sousuke is way too nice. “Well, _someone_ will.” she says and even she can hear the threat in her voice. She can't help it. She knows her idiot brother and she knows _Sousuke_ and this is clearly hurting him.

It's clear in every line of his body that he _misses_ his best friend, his _something,_ because Gou has no illusions – Sousuke might have stolen Rin's man, but Haruka-senpai stole _Sousuke's_ man first. He might be long over it, had sat right in Gou's room after his 6-months hiking trip around Japan after high school, fingers clenched around a bottle of vodka he wasn't supposed to drink yet, and told her slightly desperately that he'd finally _let go_ and now doesn't know what to do with himself.

He might not be in love with her brother anymore, but he's still _special_. Sousuke is _careful_ with Rin in a way he's with no one else and this – this was clearly not good for him.

“What does Haruka-senpai say?” she says, because it's not like Sousuke is _alone_ in this rather uncomfortable situation.

“About Rin?” Sousuke asks, then makes a little disdainful sound, “That he's pathetic. And sometimes he asks me if he should fuck Rin, to make him stop moping. Since he's apparently that desperate for his ass.”

She doesn't quite know how to respond to that, because that's _vicious,_ even knowing how Haruka-senpai deals with uncomfortable personal conflicts.“I'm sorry your not-boyfriend is such a dick.” she finally decides on.

“Not that _that's_ news.” he says under his breath. “It's not so bad, though.”

She must make a disbelieving noise, because he continues, “No honestly, Gou. Aside from the Rin-thing – “

“Which _none_ of you are handling well.” she can't help but interject, because she can't let Sousuke get away with thinking that the way he's just letting Rin do this to him is in any way ok. All of them are fucking this up, and _hard,_ and at the next available opportunity she's going to call Rin and _fix_ this.

“– it's fine,” he continues, ignoring her, which fine, one crisis at a time, “ I still can't stand him a lot of the time and ….I mean, _not_ being in a relationship with him actually helps.”

Gou really would love to give Sousuke another _Look_ , but doesn't want to disturb him too much, since he seems to be in a sharing mood, for once.

He really shouldn't defend Haruka-senpai though – she likes him, but right now she'd happily punch him in the face. She knows where her loyalties lie. Sousuke so rarely let's anyone in and that Haruka-senpai has the chance and is instead treating Sousuke like a – a _masturbation aid_ is making her angry beyond belief.

Sousuke suddenly scoots closer, disturbing their position himself, lifting his face and pressing Gou's face against his chest instead.

“Hey, shh.” he says and oh, she's clenched her hands in his shirt. She takes a deep breath and consciously relaxes them.

“I'm serious.” he continues, looking over her head at the wall. “Nanase is _crap_ at relationships.”

“And that's news how?” she grumbles.

“It's not.” and she can hear the smile in his _voice_ , god, this is even more serious than she thought, who is he trying to fool. “He's awful at them, because he doesn't try and he doesn't want to try, because he's deathly afraid that he's gonna fuck it up and end up alone.”

That...actually makes a lot of sense, even if she's never thought about it that way before.

“He's afraid,” Sousuke continues quietly, “And he's awkward, meaning the few people he tries for – and there are some now – he tries way too hard with. And that's exhausting, but he's too fucking scared to stop.” Sousuke sounds as if he's talking to himself, so Gou stays quiet to not break the spell of Souske sharing. She can't quite keep herself from squeezing him a bit tighter though.

“Funnily, I can relate,” He chuckles bitterly, but says neutrally enough, “It's different with us, uncomplicated. We meet. We fuck.” and then says in a quieter voice into her expectant silence, “Sometimes we talk.”

“About what?” she asks carefully, trying to fit the mood.

“About nothing.” he says airily, clearly trying to lighten the mood, trying to make this moment _less_ somehow _._ She knows how hard talking about his feelings has always been to Sousuke, _afraid to fuck up_ indeed _._ So she is going to allow the diversion a bit and plays along by poking him in the side.

“Ow,” he cries out in mock pain, “Ok, fine.” He takes a deep breath that makes Gou's whole face move several inches where it's still pressed against his chest. “About everything.”

She finally pulls back, because if he's back to making jokes, he can deal with her being a bit more aggressive, and is met with a smirk.

“Sousuke...” she says warningly.

“Don't look at me like that, it's true!” She just stares, until he deflates again, looking off to the side, his hands still loosely framing her sides.

“I don't know, it's really nothing serious.” he finally comes out with, “We talk about normal stuff. Nanase tells me who annoyed him that day. I tell him about my stupid classmates. He stays in the bathtub too long and I leave my shit everywhere. I make sure we have ingredients in either of our places and then pester Nanase into cooking them.”

He falls quiet again, uncomfortable, but trying. “We don't stay the night. We don't talk about our feelings. Half of the time I still want to punch him in the face or throw him out the window, he pisses me off so much and he feels the same way.”

“How do you know that?”

“He tells me?” he smiles a bit at her startled laugh. “Yeah, Nanase isn't exactly shy about making sure I know _exactly what a huge pain in the ass I'm being._ ” and it has the cadence of a quote and she can actually hear it in Haruka-senpai's voice.

“And sure maybe that's not _normal_ or whatever, but - “ he shrugs, “it's easier. It's _easy_ , because I – “ he trails off.

“Because what?” Gou prompts him, because she knows Sousuke, if he's gotten that far, then he _knows_ why. It's going to be good for him to vocalize it, because it's not like he has someone _else_ to talk to about this stuff. She's blindingly angry for a second at her _stupid brother_ , because while Gou _wants_ to be the person Sousuke is comfortable enough to talk to, it _should be Rin._

“I don't have to be careful,” he finally gets out in a rush, “It doesn't _matter,_ you know, if I'm annoyed I can snap and storm out. If I'm angry I can _scream_ at him, if I want to. And it's _fine._ He's not gonna _cry –,”_ he breaks off and oh she's going to _strangle Rin_ the next time she sees him, “ He's either going to scream right back at me or he's going to go off and sulk, but he's - “

He takes a deep breath, “It's not gonna _tear him apart_ or anything, if he's hurt or if something bothers him, he's going to tell me right out, because we aren't _boyfriends,_ we aren't even _friends_ so there's no need to tip-toe around anything and Nanase definitely isn't the type to suffer in silence for someone he doesn't - “ and the unspoken _love/like_ is so loud that she doesn't press him on it.

He finally goes on with a self-deprecating laugh. “So this, this thing? What we have, it's good in its own way. It's nothing, it's not a relationship, so we can't fuck it up, you know?” And he looks up at her again, his eyes almost pleading with her to let it be, let it _go._

So she pretends to mull it over and finally says. “So you are saying that both of you are emotionally constipated screw-ups in tragic and hilarious ways, so what a perfect non-match!” When he looks up in shock she meets with a shit-eating grin.

He stays frozen for another second, before he finally laughs loudly, a real laugh with his whole body. Gou squeezes his sides and can't help the way her grin is growing wider, because _this_ is a Sousuke only she gets, the way their friendship works and she's so fucking happy she didn't lose that with him moving away.

Sousuke finally calms down a bit, looking down at her with his eyes twinkling, happy and quips, “Yeah, I guess we are.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can thank my internet provider for crapping out yesterday so that i had nothing to do but finish this.

**Author's Note:**

> come cry with me about my lack of commitmment and the Hotel California that is SouHaru at derekplaysviola.tumblr.com


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